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The 10 Funniest Food Jokes

The 10 Funniest Food Jokes


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Lettuce in, it’s cold outside!

Image Source/ Thinkstock

There's nothing like a hearty chuckle to a corny joke.

What is it about food that inspires so many jokes? Maybe because there’s something universal about eating; everyone does it, everyone looks at a chicken and knows that it’s a chicken, and tries to figure out why it’s crossing the road. Either way, there’s no shortage of genuinely funny food-related jokes. We rounded up the 10 best we could find.

The 10 Funniest Food Jokes (Slideshow)

There are jokes, the ones that make you chuckle and maybe groan a bit, and then there are jokes, the ones that have you in stitches and wishing you had a better memory so you could recite them at every social gathering. For various reasons, most of these ones fall into the former category.

We dispensed with the longer-format, story-style jokes in favor of the question and answer ones, and because this is a family website we stick with the clean ones. There are some filthy food-related jokes out there, believe it or not, most having to do with eggs getting laid and/ or wieners, but we’ll let you find those on your own.

[slideshow:

We also didn’t include knock-knock jokes, because there’s maybe one knock-knock joke in the universe that’s remotely funny, and it has nothing to do with food (coincidentally, it’s also filthy). You’ve gotta admit, though, that the guy who invented knock-knock jokes deserves a No-bell Prize. (Zing!)

So, with all the best intentions, we present the top 10 food-related jokes, culled from scouring the internet as well as some of our editors’ memory reserves from their childhoods. No guarantees that they’ll make you the life of the next dinner party (you’ll need to bust out your Chuck Norris facts for that), but they’ll certainly be good for a chuckle.


Food Jokes

Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!

Q: What did the Egg say to the boiling water?
A: It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper!

Q: Why did the students eat their homework?
A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Q: What do you call the king of vegetables?
A: Elvis Parsley.

Q: What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden
A: Seizure salad

Q: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
A: It was an Oscar Wiener.

Q: "What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?"
A: "I want you inside me!"

Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic

Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?
A: Pulled-Pork

Q: Why are men like coffee?
A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

Q: "What do tofu and a dildo have in common?"
A: "They are both meat substitutes!"

Q: "Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?"
A: "The one that says IDAHO!"

Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frogs finger!

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it
And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend

The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous.
They're always raisinet!


Quick, Funny Jokes!

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.

Q: Where did the onion go to have a few drinks?
A: The Salad Bar!

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!

Q: What did the apple say to the orange?
A: Nothing stupid. apples don't talk!

Q: Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a Date!

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

Q: Why did the students eat their homework?
A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.

Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.

Q: What's a vegetable's favourite casino game?
A: Baccarrot!

Q: What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden
A: Seizure salad

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Q: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
A: It was an Oscar Wiener.

Q: Why did the cabbage win the race?
A: Because it was ahead!

Q: Why was the cucumber mad?
A: Because it was in a pickle!

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q: What did the burger name her daughter?
A: Patty!

Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?
A: With tomato paste!

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi

Q: Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
A: Because he was on a roll

Q: Why don't oranges do well in school?
A: Only orange juice can concentrate.

Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A: Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid!

Q: What do you do if life gives you melons?
A: See a doctor, because you're dyslexic

Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A: A crab apple

Q: How do you make an apple turnover?
A: Push it down hill.

Q: What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A: a piZZZZZZa

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese!

Q: What cheese is made backwards?
A: Edam

Q: Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
A: Because he's a fun-guy

Q: What do you call Spiritual cheese?
A: Cheeses of Nazareth

Q: Why did the chef get arrested for assault?
A: Because he got caught beating an egg!


10 Funny Food Puns to Brighten Your Day

Every once in a while, someone says something truly amazing that you just can't seem to get out of your head. After all, who doesn't appreciate witticism? And whether or not you're a fan of word play, puns are inescapable. To pun is to use homonyms as synonyms, words that sound alike but have a different meaning. Simply put, a pun is a play on words used for a humorous effect. (11 Wine Labels with a Sense of Humour)

The coming together of everyone's two favorite things - food and humour is indeed like having your cake and eating it too. Let's just say, if you donut understand food puns, there's no whey forward! Ok, I may have gotten a bit carried away, but if you're a true blue foodie with a sense of humor, you can't help but crack. 10 food puns that will put a smile on your dial just like a blob of butter melting into hot toast does. (15 Hilarious Shop & Restaurant Names)

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Clickypix.com

Photo Credit:Pinterest/ News.distractify.com

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Etsy.com

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Freefuninaustin.com

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Pleated-jeans.com

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Humortrain.com

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Jia-Li Woo

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Clickypix.com

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Lily girl

Photo Credit: Pinterest/ Clickypix.com

So much pun! If you've come across some hilarious ones, don't forget to share.


10 Of The Corniest Food Jokes On The Planet

Sometimes there's nothing like a good, old-fashioned corny joke to put a smile on your face. Bad jokes or dad jokes -- call them what you will -- sometimes they just do the trick.

As food lovers, we're obviously partial to jokes of the food variety. Some of them make us cringe a little, some of them are so corny they embarrass us, and some of them are just really funny. Heading into Fourth of July, it's a great time to equip yourself with some family-friendly and admittedly corny jokes, so that you can bring some humor and levity to your family cookout.

Here are some of our favorite corny food jokes of the moment. Let us know your favorites in the comments!

"What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?"

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: What did the baby corn say to its mom?
A: Where's my pop corn?

Q: Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?
A: Because he was on a roll.

Mushroom walks in a bar, bartender says "Hey you can't drink here."
Mushroom says "Why not, I'm a Fun-gi!"

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta.

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes?
A: They'd crack each other up!

Q. I tried to get into my house the other day, but I couldn't. Wanna know why?
A. Because I had gnocchi!

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!

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The 10 Funniest Food Jokes - Recipes

Here is the list of food jokes, puns, and riddles for children and kids:

Q: What is black white green and bumpy?
A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka!

Q: What's the best thing to put into a pie?
A: Your teeth!

Q: Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny?
A: Then why aren't you laughing!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?
A: I'm not telling you. You might spread it!

Q: Why do the French like to eat snails?
A: Because they don't like fast food!

Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea?
A: To go with the jellyfish!

Q: Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A: Because it might crack up!

Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mom?
A: Where is pop corn?

Q: What do you call candy that was stolen?
A: Hot chocolate!

Q: What kind of nuts always seems to have a cold?
A: Cashews!

Q: Waiter, will my pizza be long?
A: No sir, it will be round!

Q: What is green and sings?
A: Elvis Parsley

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn't peeling well!

Q: What is green and brown and crawls through the grass?
A: A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.

Q: What is white, has a horn, and gives milk?
A: A dairy truck!

Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?
A: Recess pieces.

Q: Why don't you starve in a desert?
A: Because of all the 'sand which is' there.

Q: How do you make a walnut laugh?
A: Crack it up!

Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sunday School.

Q: What do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Shortbread

Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

Q: What is a pretzel's favorite dance?
A: The Twist!

Q: What are twins favorite fruit?
A: Pears!

Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
A: Slippers!

Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid!

Q: Why did the lady love to drink hot chocolate?
A: Because she was a cocoanut!

Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: Give it a good scare!

Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
A: An astronut!

Q: What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
A: Cookies!

Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A: Because it makes you break out!


Vegetarian One-Liners

A good one-liner tends to get stuck in your head and make you laugh every time you remember the joke. Vegetarian humor is full of punchy one-liners that can appear on bulletin boards, bumper stickers, Twitter, and any other place online or offline. Most of these jokes are anti-vegetarian, but they are fun nevertheless.

Here is a selection of some of the funniest vegetarian one-liners out there:

  1. I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
  2. Vegetarian is derived from the Hindu word for bad hunter.
  3. Being a vegetarian between meals is like being a pacifist between wars.
  4. Dear vegetarians, I season my meat with your food.
  5. We didn’t fight to the top of the food chain to be vegetarian!
  6. Become a vegetarian when animals stop tasting so good.

10 Best Beef Jerky Recipes You Need to Try

Somewhere along the line, consumers decided it was acceptable for manufacturers of cheap, processed meat products to employ the term “jerky” when selling their dried-out goods. But real jerky isn’t available next to the gas station cash registers real jerky – popular in the New World since the height of the Incan Empire – is a gourmet treat. Fortunately, the hand-made stuff is getting easier to find as serious chefs create unique products from high-end ingredients (and sometimes soda).

Here are some of the best jerky recipes for cooks looking to get in on the action. They’re hard to find – jerky chefs are protective of their prized recipes – but worth the time. So get the knives, break out your smokers, and pre-heat your oven. The only thing better than cooking a gourmet treat is being able to put it in your pocket before you head out to the bar.

For access to exclusive gear videos, celebrity interviews, and more, subscribe on YouTube!


30 Laugh-Out Loud Halloween Jokes That'll Tickle a Skeleton's Funny Bone

It's no secret that we love Halloween around here! From winding your way through a corn maze (make sure you take a photo that pairs nicely with these fall Instagram captions) to setting up a movie marathon featuring the best Halloween movies of all time, October is chock-full of friendly Halloween family activities that lead up to the spooky holiday.

To help you have as much fun as possible in preparation for the all those tricks and treats, we&rsquove compiled some of the funniest Halloween jokes that are sure to make a skeleton roll in his grave with laughter and put even the best dad jokes to shame. From ghost and goblins to witches and mummies&mdashthe whole gang is looped in on these jokes! Whether you&rsquore carving faces in jack-o&rsquo-lanterns from one of these emoji pumpkin carving faces or celebrating at home, these jokes will definitely boost the fun factor during any of these situations. Here&rsquos one of our favorites: &ldquoWhy do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!&rdquo (ba-duhm-shh). And don&rsquot fret if you run out of Halloween jokes at the party&mdashthese pumpkin jokes and funny Halloween memes will really give &lsquoem pumpkin to talk about!


Laughing Fit: Top 10 Funny Diet Jokes

The shelf life of health resolutions is very short. Sometimes it is impossible to follow a diet and sometimes healthy food can be boring. In such a scenario you come across hilarious situations that make dieting funny and little crazy, sometimes. Here are our favourite top 10 diet jokes.
*Images courtesy: © Thinkstock photos/ Getty Images

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 1

People ask me what diet I’m on. I’ll let you all into a secret.

I’m on the seefood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 2

You know it’s time to diet and exercise when.

• You try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

• You get winded just saying the words "ten-kilometer run."

• You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

• Your driver's license says, "Picture continued."

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 3

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being ‘freaking hungry’.

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 4

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 5

I walked in the pub yesterday and I couldn't help but notice a guy sit at the bar scribbling on some paper and laughing hysterically.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked.

"My wife's been on a diet for the last 4 days, and she's lost 5 pounds." the man replied.

"What's so funny about that?" I asked.

"Well," he says "I've worked out that in 4 months, she will have disappeared completely!"

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 6

My low-fat diet must be working. The fat hangs lower everyday!

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 7

Two ton Charlie has very little success with his dieting efforts. The only time his weight goes down is when he goes down in an elevator.

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 8

I have metal fillings in my teeth. My refrigerator magnets keep pulling me into the kitchen. That’s why I can’t stick to my diet and don’t lose weight.

Laughing Fit: Diet Joke # 9

I have a great diet. You are allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.


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